omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
