I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
