Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
