I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
