dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
