1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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