Bisexual people are plain selfish.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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