i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I need to wash the frat house off of me
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
