guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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