Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
