You can't motorboat a personality
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
she pinky promised me she was 18
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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