The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
