If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
