just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
