He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
