"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
