I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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