You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
