omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Who did Billy Mays play for?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
