I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
love makes seman taste better
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
