Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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