its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize