I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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