Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
