Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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