I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Randomize
