Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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