She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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