What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I could fuck to npr.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
