We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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