3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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