How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
babies were throwing up all over the place
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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