and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
