u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Randomize
