used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
