We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
My cat gives me a boner
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
