why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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