how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
