it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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