Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
