Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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