I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
