Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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