Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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