is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize