I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
