I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
