I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
