if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Congratulations! We have a period
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