I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
