just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
So squirting runs in the family.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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