Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
He did a backflip because drugs
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