did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
