highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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