my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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