"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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