I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
