i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
