I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
honey bunches of taint.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Randomize