No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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