# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
