and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
